Ever go through seasons where you JUST KNOW that God is wanting to reveal something to you about yourself? Something that He wants to HEAL or CHANGE?
I have realized over several years of being a christian that these hurt places or areas of thinking that need God’s touch usually go back to a faulty belief system that I have formed along the way.
It’s a subtle creeping in of false beliefs that I allow to infliltrate my thinking and ultimately how I believe and live. This new area that I feel God wants to bring some truth and healing into me is my belief system about me as a mom and about my kids.
Over the last year I have had a hard time adapting to being a mom- being really honest here! Motherhood hasn’t been the overwhelming JOY that I thought it would be. I think it’s because it was two babies at once, but also beause we had just moved to a new city-away from our church family and close friends. Add to that being about 4 hours away from my parents plus post partum blues… that equals a difficult time.
This last year it’s like I’ve kept myself in a self-imposed cocoon of sorts. Since we don’t really know too many people out here the boys have not been exposed to that many social situations. I’ve been keeping to myself with my kids and I struggle with what my choices will produce in my children. Already I see that they are having such a difficult time at the church nursey- I know that’s normal to a degreee. Yet I can’t help but wonder if this “cocoon” I created has caused them some inhibitions.
I feel like I’ve missed the mark somehow in this area….like I’m failing my kids because of my own inhibitions or self-imposed fears. I don’t want my kids to be afraid or inhibited around other kids or people. I want them to be comfortable in social situations.
I know that there is something God’s wanting to do in me to break any false thinking- and I know it starts with me getting involved in this mom’s group I just joined. I struggle with how I’m gonna handle both boys by myself at these outings- but I know that it will make a difference to get involved not only in my life but in my boys lives.
If anyone’s readin this please pray for me! I just really need God’s truth to wash over my mind and heart and to let go of all the negative,self-defeating talk in my mind.
I really believe God wants to show me how to THRIVE as a mom and not just merely SURVIVE.