Change is one of those things in life that I have not always enjoyed. I guess I’m the proverbial “creature of habit.” Over the years I have gotten better at accepting change and realize that God uses change to help me grow and to expand my influence and the purpose He has for my life.
When it has come to my kids I am more aware than ever how I have stayed in a routine that should have ended a while back. I am one of those parents who is guilty of “babying” her little ones. One of the things I hate the most is letting my boys cry in their crib for naps or bedtime. I admit I still rock one of my boys till he starts to drift off in sleep mode. So lately this practice of mine is getting to be more difficult to pull off because my boys are very tall and hard to handle in a rocking chair position.
The last couple of days I have been letting Dylan cry it out in his crib during nap time. I’ll start with the rocking and then after a few minutes I lay him in his crib. He doesn’t like it (no shock here!)and he even throws things out of his crib to reinforce his dislike of this new change. But amazingly enough (to me) after only 12 minutes of crying and yelling he calms down and falls asleep. I know that I created this scenario of dependence on mom to get him to go to sleep. It started as a sweet routine when he was a baby and for some reason with Dylan I stuck with this habit and didn’t change it as he got older.
I recognize that these baby boys of mine aren’t babies anymore and I am having to make the necessary adjustments to change as much as they are. I am embracing this change, even amidst the tantrums and fusses from Dylan, I still embrace it. Change is good, right? That’s what I know to be true although the process is not always fun.
I look at how I can sometimes throw a fuss when God asks me to change up the routine of my life. I look at him with a look of bewilderment as say “What, change? Why? I like things the way they are!” Yet God in His loving and patient way brings me to the realization that change is good and that if I want to grow as a person, a mom, wife, daughter etc…that I have to be willing to go His direction.
Sometimes just staying where I’m at is a matter of security. Making new friends at my age, are you kidding? Why would I want to make myself vulnerable like that? Sometimes it’s easier to stay in this nice, safe, warm cocoon that I’ve spun these last 2 1/2 years. This routine of mom and wife is what I know…it’s what I’ve learned to grow comfortable with.
Making time for “me” is just something I do in little helpings. Yet, God’s purpose for my life at this point in my life cannot be fully realized until I choose to break out of this cocoon of routine and familiarity.
I have found that when I am resistant to change or scared of change that it’s usually the sign that God has something so much greater and more fulfilling for my life. It’s time for these wings to expand, to unfurl themselves and do what they were created to do….soar!
God I want to soar with you. I want to be the woman, the wife, the mom, the daughter you have made me to be. Lord, help me to trust you and not walk in fear. Help me to trust you as you take me to new places and develop me.